Last week’s People Magazine featured an interview with the actress Lisa Rinna entitled “What I Eat in a Day.” Being somewhat health conscious myself I am always interested in looking for new, healthful meals and snacks. Unfortunately, I don’t see Lisa Rinna and I heading out to lunch any time soon.
First of all, she starts her day out with the ever-popular fad of the moment “Smoothie.” I too drink smoothies, but they come from Dairy Deluxe and they’re called milkshakes. Unlike Lisa’s “smoothie,” my milkshake doesn’t contain spinach. No way. No how. Not in this lifetime. Pop-Eye would roll over in his cartoon grave.
Her lunch isn’t much better. A whole-wheat wrap with cucumber, lettuce, avocado and something called tempeh. Naturally, I Googled tempeh and found that it is nothing more than soybeans smashed into some type of mushy cake. Prisoners in foreign countries where there is no electricity or running water eat better than Lisa Rinna. If I were Lisa, by dinnertime I would be so hungry for real food that I would be ordering a pizza while waiting for my takeout at Burger King – but not Lisa. No. She can’t wait to get her giant lips around a handful of truffle fries and split pea soup.
At the end of the article a nutritionist weights in (pun intended) and says her dinner needs more protein and, “I would love to see her add some nuts or seeds.” Nuts and seeds. Of course that’s what her diet is lacking. Nuts and seeds. If she would just add nuts and seeds this would then become a food lifestyle I could embrace. Nuts and seeds. Did I mention she also drinks 64 ounces of water a day? Obviously she’s not cooking because there is no stove next to her toilet. How do you have time to drink 64 ounces of water a day and still have a life outside of your bathroom?
My favorite quote from the article comes from Lisa herself where she say, “I’ve learned you have to listen to your body.” If she is listening to her body I would like to know what the hell it’s telling her. I listen to my body too and not once has it ever said, “More tempeh please.” If anyone wants to borrow my People Magazine let me know. Oh, and just ignore the smeared chocolate on the cover. I ran out of nuts and seeds.